


I Was Twenty

by sirknightmordred



Series: Malec AU Works - Part Two [15]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Sexual Assault, past physical assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirknightmordred/pseuds/sirknightmordred
Summary: Raphael tells Simon how he was turned.





	I Was Twenty

**Author's Note:**

> [Part of a Malec AU Askblog - https://askmagnusandalec.tumblr.com/]

Raphael’s head rests firmly in Simon’s lap where it had been since they woke up. Simon was sitting up, his hands in his partner’s hair, brushing it through gently. They were sitting on their couch, the TV in front of them playing the movie “The Untouchables” for the second time in a 24 hours period. It was one of Raphael’s favorites and the only thing that could calm him down after what had happened yesterday. That and Simon’s soft singing of ‘ain’t no sunshine.’ Another favorite of Raphael’s. Simon knew better than to touch him when he started shaking, so he began to hum and then the singing just started. Like how Raphael just started to bare his fangs. That’s when Simon ran toward him, not caring if he would get hurt. He’d heal anyway. It was something akin to a panic attack, maybe an anxiety one as Simon encircled his arms around Raphael, using his vampire strength to keep him locked in place as he tried to thrash out. At the people who hurt him? At Simon? At the person who sent that message? Simon didn’t know. He just held him close and sang until he stopped fighting.

 After that Simon helped him, or more like carried him to their bed. Raphael was boneless, like all of the energy had been sucked out of him. Simon didn’t know what to do, so he did all that he could. He changed Raphael into comfier clothing and led him back to bed. He laid down with him too, bringing him close. Simon wrapped his arms around him, bringing Raphael’s face to his neck where he breathed softly. Simon couldn’t lie to himself, he was scared, maybe even terrified. Not of Raphael, but for Raphael. What could be so painful? So horrible? At those thoughts Simon reached over where he left the remote earlier and put on a movie. At that moment he’s glad he talked Raphael into putting a small TV in their room, because as soon as the movie starts, Raphael snuggles into Simon a little more.

 Now, the next day after Raphael had slept for over eighteen hours, they were watching this movie again. Simon did enjoy it. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t exactly his favorite genre but that doesn’t matter, because it seems to help Raphael. He seems calmer and more at ease. Not spooked or scared or having his fangs bared. His movements are slow, but somewhere in the middle of the picture, his hand wraps around Simon’s. Simon squeezes and almost starts crying again at the contact.

“I was twenty.” Raphael starts to speak, but it’s croaky and disused. Simon freezes. “I was twenty when I was turned.”

 Simon starts to shake his head as Raphael’s grip on his hand tightens. “No, no, baby you don’t have to tell me. You don’t have to say anything.”

 Raphael rolls over and looks up at Simon. “I want to.” He says before pushing his face into Simon’s stomach, his face hidden now from view, but his words are as clear as ever. If not a little scratchy.

“I was twenty when I was turned.” Raphael goes on. “It was almost Christmas. I remember the church bells. I was walking home from the bakery where I worked, warm bread under my arm for my family. They always gave me the scraps and one warm one. They knew our situation, the baker and his wife. They were… Kind. Even despite the fact that they were white and I was not. That was- It was another time back then Simon. A whole other time.”

 Raphael’s hand finds Simon’s again. They both hold on tightly, gaining strength from each other for this story to be told.

“They came out of nowhere. They were so fast. There was nothing I could do. They dragged me into an old factory. It was still in the building stages, but it was perfect for them. There were three of them. My bread was gone. That’s all I could think about. The bread. How would my family eat tonight? Without that precious bread?”

 Raphael pauses. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” Simon says strongly. “Not unless you want to.”

“Well, to put it simply they- they pinned me down. There is nothing simple about it as they took from me everything I had. My humanity. My blood. My innocence. My life. In a few short hours it was all gone… I’ve always been like this Simon, I’ve always not wanted sex. Even before this- before what they did. Before I was a vampire. Before my life was ruined. Dios mío, Simón, qué me hicieron. Nunca olvidare. ”

 Simon’s hand finds itself on Raphael’s back, rubbing softly as he speaks..

“But then I met you.” Raphael says, and Simon can hear the smile in his voice. “After everything, after Camille, and… I met you. I knew there was something different about you. I felt different with you. It was- I never thought it- You and me would turn into this.”

 Simon chokes back the emotion that wants to spill out and rests his hand gently in Raphael’s hair as they sit there. A few moments later and Raphael is sitting up. He has a gentle, yet sad smile on his face as he looks to Simon. His hands on Simon’s jaw and cheek as he asks slowly, “Can I kiss you?”

 Simon smiles, a little sadly as well and says, “Of course, Raph, baby you never have to ask. I’ll always want to kiss you. I think about kissing you all the time. I-”

 Raphael kisses him. Slow and gentle. Just like Simon. When he pulls back he relents and agrees to something Simon’s been wanting for a while. “You can call me your husband.”

 Simon leans in slowly; not wanting to spook him, but Raphael simply leans in faster and kisses him again. A kiss that takes all of the breath out of you.

“Te quiero, mi sol.”


End file.
